RIP Kitty

Tomorrow I will be taking Kitty to be put down and this is one of the hardest things I think I have ever had to do! I know to some it may seem silly...he's just a cat. And I know that putting things in perspective, it could be so much worse...I have a healthy son and husband! BUT...it is still so hard and hurts so bad!
We got Kitty when we had only been married 1 year and he was free in the Huntsville Wal-Mart parking lot! :) He has been apart of our family for 7 1/2 years and he was like our baby before Noah came along! He was so spoiled before Noah! He slept in the bed with us every night, ate on the table with us, got in the shower with us, you name it! He has always been so loving...he never hurt a soul and tolerated alot of abuse from our dogs that have come and gone! :(
I feel like it's my fault that he got sick b/c he was fine before we put him outside when Noah was born! Then, over the last 6 months, he stopped eating and drinking and lost almost 12 pds!
I wish I had all the money in the world so I could pay to have him treated but I just can't justify spending $600 just to get him tested and then if he has feline leukemia then there is nothing they can do for him anyway!
So, Kitty we love you and will miss you greatly! You were the best cat ever!