Miracles

God is so amazing...sometimes the way He works just overwhelms me!
One morning I was praying, when I was pregnant with Noah, and God gave me this song and I wrote it down and haven't really looked at it again in a while. Then last week in prayer I felt God prompting me to look back through my journal and I came across these words again and immediately I felt God give me a melody for part of it! Once again, I got busy and haven't thought about it since last week. But, this morning while I was praying the song kept repeating itself in my head and I just wanted to share it and I hope it encourages someone else the way it has encouraged me...

Against all hope, in hope I believe
In the substance of things hoped for but can not be seen
clinging to the promises of God
not wavering in doubt
I am strengthened in my faith and give glory to my God

I am fully persuaded that my God has the power to do what He says He can do
I am fully persuaded that His promises are true

I believe that you are faithful
I believe that you are true
I believe that you are Holy
and I know that I love you

You have given me a miracle, you have heard my deepest cry
You have caught my every tear and given me my hearts desire
Through hard times. trials and pain
By faith i've not lost but gained
Your love and mercy overwhelm me
they flow so endlessly

I believe that you are faithful
I believe that you are true
I believe that you are Holy
and I know that I love you

My life and my time is in His hands
I submit to His will and I yield to His plan
You are not a man that you should lie
So I stand before you now and lift my voice in faith and cry

I believe that you are faithful
I believe that you are true
I believe that you are Holy
and I know that I love you


I know that in Gods perfect timing He will give me the melody for the rest of the song but right now I have what I need to get me through the trials facing me right now!
Last week Pastor Allen talked about miracles and finding hope in a hopeless, dead end situation and that is what I am doing! I am taking down my dead end sign and replacing it with hope! For I know that just like it says in Mark 4:22, God will reveal all things and everything that is hidden will eventually be brought to light! So I can't give up, I must have hope that relationships can be restored and pain can be forgiven and the past can be healed!

Another song really spoke to me this morning...an oldy but a goody...

You alone are my strength my shield
to you alone may my spirit yield
you alone are my hearts desire
and I long to worship you

God is a God of miracles and they are everywhere if you just take the time to take your eyes off the problems and focus on the many things we take for granted...it is a miracle that I am still married to the same man after 8 years, it is a miracle that I have a beautiful, healthy son, it is a miracle that we always have just enough to make ends meet each month, it is a miracle that the seasons change each year and the sun comes up each morning and I can breathe each breath I take! Thank you Jesus for coming and humbling yourself to live among us and for your grace and mercy that are new to me each morning! You are truly a God of miracles!

Long time

It has been a long time since I have written and I have missed it! Nate is on his first hunting trip since I have known him and it is 8 o'clock and i'm already in bed! HA! I'm a party animal!
I always want this blog to be about the reality of a "normal life" and so once again I am just going to "get real! "
I am having a hard time finding balance in my life! I know and believe that my priorities should be God, Nate, Noah and then friends...but this has not been the case! I feel like it's Noah, Noah, then a lil Nate and a lil God and no friends!
Over the last 3 years, while I was working at New Life Women's Center, my relationship with God grew so much...we had an hour of prayer every morning, I taught Bible studies all day, lead worship once a week; I was immersed in His word and His presence! Now I find it hard to even pray for 10 minutes without being intterupted !! Instead of listening to worship music, it's Blue's Clues and Baby Einstein music all day! I have been reading the same book for 3 months, much less finding the time to do a Bible study! I feel like I am going crazy!! AHHH!
Then, after taking care of Noah all day, I am so exhausted at night that I feel like I have nothing left to give to Nate! Running this photography business takes up all my spare time (when Noah's sleeping) during the day and I feel like all I ever talk to Nate about is the business and his new job which has been all consuming(NOT complaining, just stating the facts) and then my brain is mush!

I spend alot of time with my parents but as far as friends are concerned or a social life it's pretty much non-existent and I struggle with, is it fair for me to leave Noah to have girl time, is it selfish for me to want to leave Noah with Nate so I can go do something I want without them?!
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a Mom and I love staying at home with him and I am so proud of Nate and our business and so thankful for all the business we've been doing I just need to find some balance!
I find myself being the person that I used to be; the person I have worked so hard to not be! Getting angry really easily and allowing it to fester instead of getting rid of it quickly and being quick to forgive! Being extremely controlling and having to always be right! I hate those things about myself!
But like everything else is life worth anything, you have to work at killing the flesh and being more Christlike and when all I do is take care of everybody else, and neglect my relationship God, then slowly but surely, the flesh creeps back in!

I want to be a good mom and I have waited so long to have Noah and he is such a blessing to me but am I really doing the right thing by him if I don't take care of myself and my relationships!??!!
Sooooo...I am already thinking about New Years Resolutions and I am going to find some balance in my life for 2011! I need more JESUS for sure! I miss the times I had with Him, He truly is my best friend, who is ever faithful no matter how much I neglect Him! He never leaves me or forsakes me! Thank you Jesus!

Nate is a wonderful man...not perfect, but wonderful! He deserves to have more of my heart instead of the leftovers! I know that the best thing I can do for Noah is to show him what a healthy marriage looks like...not just tell him, but live it out!
I miss my friends so much! I am going to get a social life again! Woo Hoo! I don't know how but I am going to make it a priority to get away without the boys and share my life with other women!
I also really miss singing, so starting in 2011 I am going to join the choir! Yes, it's a commitment of time and once again, i don't know how i'm going to make it all work, but if it's meant to be, God will make a way!
I know not everyone appreciates me airing my dirty laundry but i think it's important that people know that the facade of a perfect family, doesn't exist...Life is hard and messy and not always fun, but God is so good, and always pulls you through the hard times and the laughter in between makes it all bearable! Do Nate and I fight...sure we do...are there days that it all seems too overwhelming and I just want to give up...yep...do we make mistakes and hurt each other on a daily basis...probably...BUT do we truly love each other...absolutely...do I have joy in my heart...yes...am I blessed...abundantly!!!

This Christmas season, I am making a commitment to focus my heart where it should have been for a while now...not on the things that aren't right, not on the people that don't act right, not on the past, but on being thankful for all the blessings in my life, forgiving those that have hurt me, being the best me I can be for my family!
I just want to love on God, Nate and Noah and some girl friends that have been really neglected!
So thankful for all the people in my life, even the ones that stretch me and help me learn how to be the person God wants me to be! If God is for me, who can be against me! Amen!
I feel better already...it's amazing how writing it all out brings so much clarity perspective...even if only for me! Thanks for reading!